Monday, February 14, 2011

I HATE FOOD ALLERGIES!!!!

The reason I have quit blogging is because I decided to spend more time and focus on kids and anything that took me away from that (interenet, TV, etc.) I would try to not use it while they are around. And after bedtime I'm too worn out :). Today I am writing purely as an outlet. I hate food allergies so much that I have quit talking about them. The more I talk about it, the more upset I get. I am definitely not dealing well with the cards we have been given. It affects every single minute of every day of my life. I'm not sure if there has been a day that I haven't shed a tear over it. I try to keep a peace with God that I know He is in control, but sometimes my human nature takes over and I feel burdened. Ty is amazing and handles his life with such grace. He had to come home from school one day b/c a little girl sat on his head and it was right after lunch so there was residue on her pants and he broke out all over. I cried like a baby for two hours and he said "don't worry mom, i got to play in the director's office!!!!"
Ty has recently started feeling a little isolated due to his severe food allergies. Every single children's channel is sponored by Chuck E Cheese's and he hates that he can't go. He pitched a royal fit one day b/c he promised me that he would just say "no thank you" if someone offered him pizza. I tried to explain that there is cheese everywhere, even on the games, and you are so allergic you can't even touch the games. At the end of the day, I can't expect him to understand cross-contamination. Afterall, he is only three!!!! We can't go to family member's houses without leaving with a rash, we can't go to the doctor's without leaving without a rash. School, stores, friend's houses, church, etc, all result in some form of mild reaction. Although those are not life threatening, they are annoying. Our home is our ONLY safe haven. Which brings me to my new issue-TANNER.
My sweet Tanner has no food allergies (sensitive to soy) and he has been on ty's diet (as all of us) for the past 19 months. Today was his 18 mo well check and the doctor is very concerned about his weight. He is now in the 3rd percentile. She believes if we incorporate things like cheese, mayonnaise, eggs, etc, that might put a little more weight on him. Sounds great but scares me to death. Now, i have to face losing my only safe place for ty-our home. After each meal i will need to bath, brush teeth, sanitize surfaces and tell them not to hug or kiss. How do i do this? How do i sufficiently take care of BOTH kids. How do i not rob Peter to pay Paul? I don't feel like anyone in this world understands what i am going thru and the severity of it. IT SUCKS!!!!!!!! i don't know what to do? On this Valentine's Day, I love my kids more than anything in this world and whatever i have to do i know is worth it if it makes both of them happy and healthy.